moved

There are very few things in this life that can move me to such extreme emotion that I am either left, almost literally, breathless, or in tears.  Thinking tonight about the people closest to my heart, I am that kind of moved to find myself so lucky.  I worry too much, I worry about life, and work, and security, and success, and self image.  I think about relationships, a future, finishing school, moving, the clothes I’m wearing a hell of a lot more often than I should, and also I think about Portland a lot, especially lately.  Please, Reader, especially if you know me, do not look too deeply into what I’m about to say, because I have NO idea if I’ll actually be moving to Portland anytime soon- things have not worked out too many times for me to put too much hope in transfering with Starbucks- but,  a pending change in life has made the relationships I most value all the more sweet.  I’ve allowed myself to get really upset, especially recently, about the impermanence of everything around me- particularly relationships, but the last few days I’ve found myself noticing that it is the finiteness of human interaction that gives it its savor.  We were meant to change, and that message is becoming increasingly clear to me, however, I do believe that there are individuals in my life who will never go away (except by death), and I’m honored to call them my friends.

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